Dont Listen to JoJos Horny New Album If Youre Single in Quarantine
Her new album good to know isn’t the JoJo you listened to in middle school, never mind your mother’s JoJo. Her first full album of new material since leaving Atlantic Records in 2017 and releasing rerecordings of her first two releases in 2018 is polished pop-R&B in every sense. Yes, there are syrupy smooth vocal runs, but it’s also the sexiest thing you’ll hear all week. According to a recent interview in People, JoJo didn’t have sex at all during the album’s ten-month recording period. And on top of that, she’s spending quarantine single with her mom and dog. Somehow, through that solitude, she’s given us by far the horniest album of quarantine yet, just when unlucky singles can’t do much about it. “I’m just learning about the chakras now, but our creativity and our sexuality is in the same place in our bodies, and it’s the energy center,” she told People. She taps into both on good to know, so let’s run through it. Here’s a breakdown of the album’s five steamiest tracks.
“So Bad”
JoJo comes in hot on the opening track of the album, addressing a guy she’s with. Or maybe exposing is the better word. She asks if “she,” presumably said lover’s girlfriend, knows that “you like it in the morning,” “you cum without a warning,” or “you smile when you’re performing.” So much for keeping secrets. “Does she need to know that?” she wonders, although we clearly did.
“Pedialyte”
This may be a song about a hangover (bless Pedialyte for all it does), but don’t think JoJo would miss a chance to get sexual in the outro:
I forgive all my exes
And my sex be the best
It was love, it was fast
Put in work, just get it back
Sixty-nine, lock it down
Tear it up, make it bounce
Say your name, say it loud
“Gold”
The album’s third track is when JoJo gets to what a good R&B sex bop should be: a celebration of a miracle. “You’re bringin’it out of me, from myhead to my toes / I call that anatomy, just the way that shit goes,” she sings. “You movin’ inside of me, speakin’ so heavenly / I call that divinity, we already know.” Sure, you don’t have to learn new things in quarantine, but no one ever said you couldn’t.
“Man”
“You know me,Ijust don’t stop,” JoJo sings at the beginning of this song and if there’s one thing this album has taught us about Jojo so far, it’s that. “Man” isn’t as sexual as some other songs on the album — but JoJo does set up what she wants in a partner. First, of course, she needs “a fuckin’ man.” And what is that? “Someone who want me like a fan,” she sings, and later adds, “He ride for me like he a stan.” Let JoJo spell it out for you one more time: She wants “somebody who can love me like I love me / Love me like I can.” It’s what she deserves.
“Comeback”
Somehow, the second to last song on good to know is the first time JoJo sings the word dick. “So fuckin’ good boy, it’s disgusting,” she sings, and she’s not wrong. “Tell me it’s mine or I’malose my fuckin’ mind / I need that dick all the time.” Album closer “Don’t Talk Me Down” is more internal, so consider “Comeback” the climax of JoJo’s musical horniness. “Hit them splits like an acrobat,” she sings, later adding, “You make me cum so fast.” With that, we officially know more about JoJo than we expected to half an hour ago, and we’re left feeling like Too Hot to Handle contestants.
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Don’t Listen to JoJo’s New Album If Single in QuarantinencG1vNJzZmivp6x7t8HLrayrnV6YvK57kWlpaWdganyru8moqmamlax6orjBrqRmn5%2BksW7Azmaip6enYrWwvs2inKysXaHGs7XCrGWhrJ2h